![]() 08/23/2013 at 10:32 • Filed to: None | ![]() | ![]() |
Didn't even invite me. WTF mom.
Anyway, I found her opinions on it very interesting. She's the least-enthusiastic in our family, but had heard me speak of the magic and mystery of the V wagon as a possible future choice I thought she'd enjoy, so when she saw a commercial for 0% financing she decided it was worth investigating. Her comments, in order, as follows:
1) "I don't know why I ever question your opinion on cars. You know us all so well" — I've basically picked out every car for our close family because, well, if you had a family member with a masters in automotive engineering, wouldn't you want his input?
2) "There's enough room in the back for recycles and road trips. I like that"—She's been stubbornly holding onto her 90's purple chrysler minivan to the tune of almost 300,000 miles, making her an honorary Jalop in her own right, but the second transmission has grenaded and she needs something with a modicum of utility.
3) "I cannot even explain how fast it is. Faster than anything I've ever imagined. I didn't know that kind of fast existed. There was stop, and then there was 100, and everything in between was unacceptable." This from a lady who routinely drives a Z06 or a 911 when her van is in the shop.
4) "This car needs a manual. And I want mine in that pretty light blue they make it in. And I want the Recaros. And I want you to take me to the track" — I have never been so proud in my entire life. Ever. If I have children someday, they will have to live with the knowledge that they will never be as awesome as my mother was on the day she decided she wanted a manual CTSV wagon with recaros in it and wanted me to run pit crew for her. I've already got a line on a stealth blue metallic car in Greensboro...
5) "The brakes were yellow. Yellow brakes are badass" — Yellow brakes ARE badass, mom. Welcome to the disease.
Edit: The more I think about this, the more I think it would be fun to write a series of articles on it if the deal goes down. I think it would be a lot of fun to have the person in the family who is the least traditionally enthusiastic about cars suddenly become the horsepower leader of our fleet (We have a C5 Z06, a 500hp Pro-Touring firebird, a 993, a G35, and a Miata already), plus this is Cadillac's traditional target market experiencing the epitome of New Cadillac. What do you guys think?
![]() 08/23/2013 at 10:34 |
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God bless your mother.
![]() 08/23/2013 at 10:35 |
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She is the coolest.
![]() 08/23/2013 at 10:35 |
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"How'd your grandma die?"
"She flipped her 'Vette."
![]() 08/23/2013 at 10:36 |
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1) Is your mom single?
2) I have a sneaking suspicion that I should not GIS WTF mom.
![]() 08/23/2013 at 10:38 |
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2) Do it.
![]() 08/23/2013 at 10:39 |
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"I cannot even explain how fast it is. Faster than anything I've ever imagined. I didn't know that kind of fast existed. There was stop, and then there was 100, and everything in between was unacceptable."
This quote. It is my favorite. Your mom rocks.
![]() 08/23/2013 at 10:40 |
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Double post. Silly kinja.
![]() 08/23/2013 at 10:45 |
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Damn it, beat me to it.
Dear Formula4Speed's mom,
I'm 40 and in great health. I enjoy Broadway plays, movies and music. Like traveling and trying new food. Like to run, bike and enjoy outdoor activities (wink-wink-nudge-nudge).
Let me know,
Thanks
![]() 08/23/2013 at 10:48 |
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weird... she invited me *awkward wink*
![]() 08/23/2013 at 10:49 |
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"but had heard me speak of the magic and mystery of the V"
ahh, the magic and the mystery of the V... YUR MOM's V!
![]() 08/23/2013 at 10:49 |
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You guys are gonna have to out-do my dad...and my dad is buying her a $75,000 dollar Cadillac. Not saying it's impossible. Just saying it's gonna be tough. Bring your A-game.
![]() 08/23/2013 at 10:51 |
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AWWWWWWW YEEEAAAAAAAA!!! I came out of that V, so you know it's got what it takes—HIGH FIVE!!
![]() 08/23/2013 at 10:53 |
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![]() 08/23/2013 at 10:53 |
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Oh mom, you so crazy!!
![]() 08/23/2013 at 10:55 |
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I also enjoyed the yellow brake quote.
![]() 08/23/2013 at 10:55 |
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I should not have followed your advice...
![]() 08/23/2013 at 10:57 |
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Takes the concept of eskimo brothers to a whole new level, that's for sure.
![]() 08/23/2013 at 10:57 |
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WTF MOM.
![]() 08/23/2013 at 10:58 |
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YES!! It's like watching the birth of a car nut. She's catching the bug and it's awesome.
![]() 08/23/2013 at 11:05 |
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I wish I could bulk recommend this entire exchange. Bravo.
![]() 08/23/2013 at 11:10 |
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Your mom drives a C5Z?
![]() 08/23/2013 at 11:10 |
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I've long said this is exactly the sentence I want my kids to have the pleasure of saying someday.
![]() 08/23/2013 at 11:12 |
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A new life is such a beautiful thing! What are the actual odds of her purchasing said car?
![]() 08/23/2013 at 11:12 |
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"We have a C5 Z06, a 500hp Pro-Touring firebird, a 993, a G35, and a Miata already"
Speed, you might have the single best garage of anybody on this site. Your mom (who sounds badass) getting the CTS-V wagon would cement that.
![]() 08/23/2013 at 11:12 |
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Indeed. The woman definitely has taste!
![]() 08/23/2013 at 11:16 |
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Your mom is AWESOME.
![]() 08/23/2013 at 11:20 |
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Apparently, it's down to this or a 750Li. I've never been so conflicted in my life as to which is actually the better choice for a mother with three mostly-grown kids (I've already moved out and both sisters are on their way out in the next 6 months-1yr). The primary duties of the car will be groceries, church, taking the recycles to the recycle place, and 9 hour road trips to visit grandpa and grandma approx. 3-5 times a year. The vast, vast, vast majority of the time in the car will be spent with only 2-3 people, tops. The 750Li would skew towards better road trip comfort, but the rest of the time the V would be perfectly fine, actually better in some ways regarding utility, and would open up access to the enthusiast world. My sisters and dad already run autocross events with me, so it would be super-fun to have mom out there hustling a big wagon through the cones.
![]() 08/23/2013 at 11:22 |
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Haha the C5Z is mine, but I trade keys with her when the town and country goes down and drive the firebird.
Favorite mom driving the Z quote: "I really like second gear. First is ok, but second is where it's at."
![]() 08/23/2013 at 11:35 |
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Haha, thanks man! This is what happens when you essentially give a Jalop free reign. Every car has been hand picked for its primary driver, though:
Big papa drives the 993 cab. He's the founder of the feast and has been lusting after the 911 since childhood. Plus, the first car he and I worked on together was his 73 super beetle. Now he has the super-duper beetle. He likes it because when the top drops, his commute becomes an experience. He describes it as "a little twice-daily moment of zen where all that matters is wind and the apex".
Middle Sister drives the G35. No one suspects that middle sister is a hoodlum. She's a writer and an introvert, more commonly found curled up with a book than out with friends, but she's got a hidden crazy streak that comes out when the situation necessitates and can run with the big boys when the whiskey comes out.
Little Sister drives the Miata. She's a professional dancer, light on her toes, and always has a smile on her face. She's never met a person who wasn't her best friend and she adds that extra ingredient that makes the whole family something special and more than the sum of its parts.
Now we just need to get mom into the perfect car. Mom's pretty quiet and unassuming, so most people wouldn't suspect that she's by far the most important and valued member of the family. She's absolutely the glue that holds us all together and deserves to be rewarded beyond all of us for her hard work in making us all functional. The thing is, mom's also a party animal. When the time comes, nobody lets loose like she does. This is why the idea of a nice little unassuming station wagon with the heart of a track monster seems, to me, like the perfect fit.
![]() 08/23/2013 at 11:37 |
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We are all the better for it.
![]() 08/23/2013 at 12:08 |
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"This car needs a manual. And I want mine in that pretty light blue they make it in. And I want the Recaros. And I want you to take me to the track" — I have never been so proud in my entire life. Ever. If I have children someday, they will have to live with the knowledge that they will never be as awesome as my mother was on the day she decided she wanted a manual CTSV wagon with recaros in it and wanted me to run pit crew for her."
This may be the best thing I've ever read on Jalopnik or OPPO - to the Front Page, I say!
![]() 08/23/2013 at 15:29 |
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I say wagon. The Li makes a good argument for itself but factor in cost to replace parts and utility and the Caddy is a seemingly easy win. Keep Oppo posted.
![]() 08/23/2013 at 15:39 |
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This is where my thoughts are leading as well. There's also a chevy dealership in the small suburb my parents live in, but the closest BMW dealership is 45 minutes away. Only 10 from my house, so we could always swap for the day if she needs to bring her car in, but the convenience of having a shop close by for the small stuff is nice.